Oh yeah?! Well my sister has cancer!

Ok, so what I’m about to say may shock you. It’s not something people say out loud because, frankly, you kinda feel like a jackass for even thinking this way. So here it goes.

I am a problem solver. I’m pretty good at it too. I’m usually ready and able to put myself in a situation and make judgment calls without being partial…not to mention, I’m honest. Sometimes a little too harshly…but it’s because of this my friends feel comfortable coming to me and saying “Am I being completely irrational about this?” Or “Tell me what to do!!” I like this about myself…a lot. I love helping people. I live to help others. It’s something I am really good at too. However, recently I’ve hit a speed bump. It’s happened before…as for the same reason, but I’ve learned a lot in the last few years about how to adapt and overcome and be able to make it through life, one day at a time. So if you’re still reading, allow me to share this with you.

Lately it hasn’t been “Can you help me with this?” It’s been “I know what I’m dealing with is nothing in comparison to what you are going through, I just need to vent” or something along those lines… Here’s some back story for those who don’t know… My little sister (yeah, she’s 24, but she’s still my little sister) has cancer. This time it’s liver cancer. Before, it was colon cancer. Before that it was thyroid cancer. She’s sick. The poor girl has gone through way more than her fair share of bullshit. When she was diagnosed with stage 3 Colorectal cancer in 2011 this is how my brain worked in regards to my personal problems:: she has cancer, this doesn’t matter. Which is way beyond correct… By comparison my problems with relationships, friendships, my work, etc…that was NOTHING compared to what she was dealing with. So what did I do? The same thing millions of others do every day when they are in the same situation… My problems got sent to the back burner, to be dealt with on a future date, or never dealt with at all. Why? Because my sister has cancer. That’s why!

And then it hit me. Something my father and step mother have told me for years. (Something I HATED hearing them tell me) If you don’t take care of yourself no one can help you. It also goes this way: if you can’t help yourself, how can you help anyone else? But wait, my sister needs me! I have to help her! I don’t have time for my petty bullshit! WAKE UP ELLA! Your sister doesn’t need you to cure cancer (although, I’d totally win the best sister in the history of everdom award if I did…but I’m a writer and a musician…I’m no scientist, so I might as well drop that idea.) Your sister needs you to just BE THERE. Your sister needs you to talk about shit that has nothing to do with cancer. She needs you to entertain her. Take her out…to the bar, to the beach, just come to my place and watch movies or whatever… She needs you to keep her normal! Well, as normal as any Salter sister can get…

Ok, I ramble, but it’s all relevant…but I’ll try to get to the point.

I’ve learned that all that little crap I was putting to the side…IT DOES MATTER. How can I be there to help someone else stay sane if I’m a mental case on the inside? I can’t. No one can. Everyone has problems and there will always, always, ALWAYS be someone who has it worse. Someone, perhaps someone close to you, will have cancer, or some other insanely unfair, horrible illness. People around the world go to bed every night without clean water, without a hot meal, without a bed to sleep in. Someone always has it worse. EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS. What you can’t do is down play your issues. Know that if you had a bad day at work, ITS OK if you wanna bitch about it. If you’re having relationship problems, IT’S OK to complain about it. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to ask for advice. IT IS OKAY. Just because your problems aren’t life or death problems doesn’t mean that they aren’t problems and it doesn’t mean that the way you handle it won’t be life altering in some way. So I’m saying this, especially to my people who I love and care about and who don’t want to talk to me about their problems because they “don’t matter”. They do matter. You matter. Your problems matter. So don’t be afraid to ask for help just because you think your issues pale in comparison. I mean, that’s just me…but it’s something I think is important. If you are an important person in my life. Your problems are important to me.

Here’s some advice for anyone who has someone in their life dealing with the likes of cancer: talk to them about your life. It helps to escape your own reality. Don’t get me wrong, there are days and times when all I want to say to someone is that I don’t give two shits about your boy problems, I don’t care that you hate your job. I DON’T FUCKING CARE. Quit bitching and do something about it! But everyone has those days. It happens and guess what?! IT’S OKAY. So stop down playing your problems. Ask for help, or don’t. Vent to someone, or don’t. Whatever works for you and helps you make it through another day. Someone else will always have it worse, but that doesn’t mean your problems are any less important. If you don’t handle your issues, you can’t be there for the people who are most important to you to help them through theirs.

I mean, I know this to be true. My sister has cancer.

Peace, Love, and Prozac.
Ella OUT!

PENIS, PENIS, PENIS, VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA

Today, while scrolling through my Facebook feed, a friend of mine shared an article. I read it. It pissed me off. You can read the article here: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/03/27/1197450/-Idaho-Teacher-Under-Investigation-For-Saying-Vagina-During-Biology-Lesson

Is this really 2013? I find myself asking this a lot lately…mostly on the case of LGBT Marriage Equality. But that is a topic for another time. For now, lets tackle the VAGINA.

It blows my mind that people are still stuck in this Leave It To Beaver mind frame. A teacher is seriously being questioned for saying “VAGINA” during a BIOLOGY LESSON. Last I checked, myself, along with the rest of the female population have this mysterious, secret body part. The-Body-Part-Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named. The very first woman ever in the history of everdom had a VAGINA. So why are so many people still afraid to utter the word?

Seems to me, if more parents and teachers spent time informing adolescents about all the nifty things these secret body parts can do, the world as a whole would be better off. Maybe if more parents allowed their kids to attend classes teaching reproductive health, those same children wouldn’t end up giving birth to their secret baby and throwing it in the trash  or maybe they wouldn’t be responsible for a massive outbreak of the Herp in high school.

MAYBE they would grow up to be informed adults who know just how awesome their body really is. MAYBE if parents were less scared of their child hearing the word PENIS or VAGINA and more scared of their kid hearing YOU’RE PREGNANT or THAT”S NOT A BUG BITE…MAYBE they wouldn’t be raising assholes who will one day run this country.

No matter how you look at it. No matter your sexual preference or religious beliefs. PENIS and VAGINA are body parts. Just like your mouth, your eyes, your elbow. Why is it such a big deal for kids to be informed on these parts too? Even if you plan on living a life of abstinence, you still need to know what is normal and what isn’t. Cancer isn’t an STD. Girls especially need to know how to take care of themselves. It boggles my mind that there is still such a stigma.

Vaginas are super cool! Peni are awesome! The uterus, aside from the brain, is probably the coolest organ around. Just think about the cool, albeit sometimes uncomfortable or downright painful, shit it does! Like, you grow real live humans in them. Why are we not more  excited to teach kids how awesome their bodies are? After all, it is the one thing you have with you at all times, for your entire life.

Anyways, this was a definite rant…but the message made it in there I think. Lets shout it from the rooftops! Say it with me! PENIS, PENIS, PENIS, VAGINA, VAGINA, VAGINA!

Peace, Love, and VAGINA

Ella OUT

Generation XY Cusp Probz

(image from http://www.fullcapacity.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Generation-Gap.jpg)

Being born in 1986 placed me on the cusp. I’m not completely Generation X, not really Generation Y, full on MTV Generation. I often feel the cusp. Identifying with both generations, but more so X. Way more so. I knew from a young age that I and my fellow 86ers were the last of a dying breed. The end of a generation. I could literally feel it…but we will get more into that in another blog… Here is what is on my mind this Monday-After-Time-Change-Morning.

At 26 years of age, I’m starting to actually feel what its like to age. A few years ago, I was 10ft tall and bulletproof. Night after night of partying til dawn, sleep for an hour or two (if you’re lucky…or smart) then off to work and do it all over again. I felt no pain. I never got sick. I was a rock star. YOLO! AmIRight?!… Uhhhgg… I digress.

Anyways, I’m 26 now. I’m on the downward slope to the end of my 20’s and the dreaded 30. Being at this place in my life, and in my line of work, I am seeing VERY first hand the horrible things that happen to a persons body.

I am a caregiver for an elderly couple. This is by no means my career, just a one time stint, because I happen to like these elders. At 88 and 90 years old, they are both in pretty great health. That being said, they aren’t the best example of aging, because they have both aged like champs. However, there are things. For example, just this morning, I helped put in dentures, unhooked a heart monitor (that was worn for a 30 day period), had a full conversation at the top of my lungs because of someones refusal to wear hearing aids, and I patched a cyst on a back. At 7:30 on Monday morning, I was literally squeezing puss out of a persons back. How’s that for perspective? Now, don’t complain to me about your Monday. I win. Come at me bro! Again, I digress. (I do this a lot…you may begin to notice the substantial digressing)

With age, things start drooping, joints start aching, eye sight gets blurry, hearing starts to go, weird skin spots pop up, reflexes slow down, hair goes gray. I’m already a victim of that last one. I would like to thank the academy and my local Aveda salon for keeping that in check.

There is so much you can do these days to hold off that evil Father Time…but it will eventually catch up to you. Eat healthy, work out, get various procedures done…its all an attempt to hold off the inevitable. Living a long life is a wonderful thing. But life itself is a cruel, cruel mistress. It hurts sooo good…ish.

I guess what I am really trying to say is this… 30. Its a scary thought that is right around the corner. I know in 10 years, 30 will have been a small blip on the radar. But for us 20-somethings, its a big deal. Basically, my fellow XY cuspers, If you aren’t already, its time to start thinking about real long term goals. Retirementy things, 401K shenanigans, house purchasing stuff, health care plans to cover your upcoming detriment.

Here is my plan. My suggestion to you 20-somethings out there is to follow suit….

1. YOLO! I really hate that acronym. Its ridiculous. But seriously, enjoy your 20’s Live your life. In Rick James fashion….do what you want. Being an adult can wait for the 3-0 or beyond.

2. Travel. Through the US, the world, your state, whatever you can afford. See some sights. There is amazing beauty found everywhere, you just need to go look for it.

3. Don’t be dumb. By this I mean don’t drink and drive. Call a cab. Call a friend. Call your parents. Call somebody. That drunken 3am phone call may be annoying, but its a BILLION times better than the 5am “Come get me, I’m in jail” phone call (and much less expensive), and there is no amount of measuring to describe how much better it is than the “There’s been an accident…” phone call. I want you around to celebrate that dirty 30. So don’t be dumb.

4. Be in a long term relationship…with yourself. Get to know who you really are. After all, how can you really prep yourself for a lasting relationship if you don’t even know who YOU are?! Don’t get me wrong, Married at 20ish works for some people. Just take some time for yourself. Its a good thing. You will thank me later for this one, I promise.

Listen to me! After all, I am an old lady…

Peace, Love, and Geritol,

Ella OUT

Son of a Beach

Is it spring yet?! All this cold, grey, rainy mess is for the birds! (Snowbirds, that is…)

Look, I know I have no room to complain about missing the warmth, the sun, the sand and the waves because I live in a beach town…however, its not all tanned legs and sun-kissed hair all the time. For those who are beach-vacationers, you may have no idea what us locals deal with on a yearly basis. There is so much to be grateful for…and still just enough to complain about…let us explore both. First, the latter.

Snowbird Season

Winter…or more commonly referred as “off season” or “snowbird season”

When the temperatures start taking a nose dive and the sky starts to lose its brighter shades of blue, we gulf-coastians brace for the impact of a not-so-elusive creature… The Snowbird. 

Like a moth to a flame, so are their gas pedals to that 35mph line on the speedometer…in the fast lane of a 55mph highway. In attempt to escape even colder temps and grayer skies, they flock to the coastline in search of free continental breakfasts and early bird specials. They flock down in droves from October-ish to March-ish. Often overlapping with Spring Break season (We’ll get into this in a moment). Snowbirds often start out in the category of “Yankee” (Northerners who visit the south) many end up graduating to “Damn Yankee” (Northerners who move to the south). While these snowbirds get on our nerves with the expectations of senior discounts, abysmal tipping, and again with the 35mph in a 55mph zone… these folks are primarily responsible for keeping our little communities economically alive….barely…but alive during the colder months. For this reason, we welcome them with a smile year after year…repeatedly reminding ourselves that spring is just around the corner….its just around the corner.

Spring Break Season

Yes. I said “season”. While the rest of the country gets one week every spring to take a break from their schooling and working, its game time on the gulf coast. ‘Tis the season for restaurant and retail hiring. Bathing suits, flip flops and beach chairs start hitting the shelves in February, operating hours get later and waiting time to get into your favorite restaurant get longer. Families and college kids load up the car and head to the coast. Business is a boomin once again! So is commute time. What took 30 minutes in travel time in January, takes 2 hours in March. Our beautiful white sands become littered with beer cans and potato chip bags that have to be cleaned up every night. If you can carry snacks and drinks to the beach, you can carry a plastic bag for your trash… I promise, its not hard…we do it every time we go. On the subject of food…please…do not feed the seagulls. Thats a whole other mess you want no part of….and the seagulls aren’t picky on where they leave their……droppings…. take heed. Please. For your own sake and all the beach goers around you DON’T FEED THE SEAGULLS. 

I digress. We’ll do an overview in a moment….

Hurricane Season

Otherwise known as “Summer”

June 1st – November 30th Gulf-Coastians are prepared for battle like a trained assassin. We can predict the path/strength of a hurricane better than Jim Cantore himself. Lucky for us, we aren’t just beach dwellers…we’re southerners. We are adaptive and creative. “Work smart, not hard.” We protect our windows with plywood. No ply wood? Duck Tape. Your windows may get busted out, but clean up will be a breeze! (no pun intended…but they’re fun anyways). Propane and charcoal for the grill..you’re gunna need it. Fill the bathtub with water. Flashlights, candles, water, booze…don’t forget the booze. Now its a party!

Hurricane season is time to enjoy those 100++ degree temps, the air so humid you could drink it. The sun is HOT, the water is cold by comparison, and the smell of sunscreen fills the air…oh how I love that smell.

Lets do a recap (and a couple extra points) for the visitors to the area…the dos and the don’ts to make your vacation great and still make it easier on the locals who work so hard to keep this place beautiful and functioning for your benefit.

1. Go the speed limit or get out of the way… Don’t take a Sunday drive on a Tuesday and get offended when someone honks their horn at you or flashes you a not-so-kind gesture. We really are nice people. Don’t push us.

2. Don’t feed the seagulls. 

3. Tip your waiters, waitresses and bartenders. They are taking care of you. 20% is good. If you can’t afford the tip, you can’t afford to eat out. Go to the grocery store.

4. Don’t complain about the “grass” on the beach. Those are sea oats. They hold our dunes together. Dunes are important. Google it. Also, seaweed will wash up…its in the sea. that happens. This is nature…

5. Wear sunscreen.

6. Be respectful of nature. You want to enjoy a beautiful beach vacation…do your part to keep it beautiful.

7. Go out to eat. Go shopping. Go to the water parks and whatnot.. we have a lot to offer, its a wonderful place.

8. Enjoy your time here. Its our home and we are proud of it, we want to share it with the world! (In moderation 😉 )

Like anywhere in the world, the place we live has its perks and its downfalls. The Gulf Coast is an amazing place to visit and an even more amazing place to live. Even through all the annoying little things we deal with and the hurricanes and the oil spill… through it all, its worth it. Beyond worth it. Now, please excuse me while I pack my beach bag. Its spring time on the coast…and I’m absolutely dying for some sand (rather…a lot of sand…that gets everywhere..) some sunshine and some salt water.

Peace, Love, and Sunscreen,

Ella OUT!

On the Wagon!……Again…

So, I started this bog X amount of years ago. In that time in my life, things were grand. Family, friends, work time, non work time… My, how my life has changed in a matter of a few years.

Well, now I’m back on the wagon, Jack! Ready to be responsible. Accountable. Annnnnd not so lazy. I have lots of topics to cover, mostly inspired by the happenings in my life. This is your warning. 

I’m back!

Peace, Love, and flip flops

Ella OUT!

Death Eaters

Cancer has a way of starting in one spot of the body. It then takes over your mind, your life, your loved ones and their lives, and if you are lucky, you get away from it with some part of your life still in tact. It can break your spirit in a single blow or it can take it down, one.peice.at.a.time. It can leave your body but not without leaving a physical scar, which may or may not fade away, and it leaves mental scars that stay with you forever.

Cancer sucks the life out of everyone it comes in contact with. Wether it has set up house in your body, or your loved ones body, it had the power to kill everyone it touches, physically, mentally, emotionally…all of the above….it feeds off of life and death is all it leaves behind.

I just don’t know what else to say right now.

From what I’ve tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire.

Ya know, Ive always know that I wasn’t meant to work in an office type setting. I’ve always know that no matter what, I have to be able to use some kind of creativity in my daily life. If I don’t, I feel like I’m wasting away.

2 weeks into going rouge with this out-there idea of being a free-lance web and graphic designer, prospects are lining up with a purpose and business is starting to boom! And Im just one person! Woooosaaa! Lol I can totally handle this, its just an extremely pleasant suprise.  Oh and Im also now handling booking bands for a new bar in town. Whaaat? Life is good today, Life is good.

 

 

oh yeah… Roll Tide!

Peace, Love and Hair Dye, folks

Ella OUT!

Look Out…..Here We Come! (via Chico and Chris)

Support Local Music…and great Musicians and Entertainers….check these guys out! Gotta love em!

The Weekend is here boys and girls! ….Well …For us it is.  We start off with a private party tonight then Friday, Sept. 16th it's Random Conspiracy at Grand Central (256 Dauphin St, Mobile, AL 36602 / map).  Saturday, Sept. 17th Chico and Chris make a long awaited return to The Touchdown Tavern in Tillman's Corner (5460 Inn Rd, Mobile, AL 36619 / map).  Sunday….We're rocking for a good cause.  Chico and Chris as well as a handfull of other … Read More

via Chico and Chris

I got miles to go before I sleep…

Hello all, Thanks for dropping in, checkin out the new diggs, etc…

So, incase you haven’t noticed yet, I have decided to start blogging. What, with all the new changes going on, my new business, my music endeavors, not to mention I can be pretty damn entertaining….I figured, why not?! So, while you can always find out my shenanigans via Facebook, Twitter, or Google+, you can bypass all the little stuff and come straight here for all of the really interesting, funny, darn right hilarious happenings of my life.

Thanks for being so supportive of me thus far, and being here in my new beginning to the rest of my life!

Dont forget…..click over there ————————————————->>>>>
and like my pages on FB. 🙂

Peace, Love, and Pepper Spray,

Deuces!

Ella OUT!